[Tom Kim heads up the Gamasutra podcast for our sister site, and every now and again sends out group emails such as this one, which we thought was worth reprinting here. Again, Tom and GSW aren't saying that all U.S. game retail employees suck. But it looks like these guys kinda, uh, did.]
This ever happen to you?
I mean, We've all seen gaming retail employees lampooned in Penny-Arcade. And every gamer seems to have heard a story about know-nothing store managers. But to date, my experience with most of them have been pretty good. Many of them seemed to know their product, and most have treated me with politeness and decency. In fact, the two store managers at this location, Mark and Monica treated me very well. Alas, they have since left for better paying jobs and have been replaced by these chuckleheads. I don't know... It's enough to make all of the apocryphal stories seem true.
-Tom
P.S. Some background: The following is very close to how things really went down. I haven't substantially changed anything. In hindsight, it is pretty funny. But when I walked out of the store, I was pretty upset. Enough to vent to my wife about it for 10 minutes. Gah! The only reason I was hanging around for that long was because my wife and I were going out to dinner, and she agreed to meet me at the EB beforehand. Otherwise, I would've been out of there pretty quickly... As you'll see, things were pretty uncomfortable.
---------- The Wisdom of EB Employees: A Play in One Act ----------
Players: Me, EB Manager, EB Lackey
Time: Around 6:30pm on a Tuesday evening
Place: A strip-mall Electronics Boutique somewhere north of Chicago
(SFX: Electronic *ding* as door opens)
EB Manager: Welcome to EB. I can help you with anything you want, except getting a Wii. We don't have any so don't even bother asking. (Note: I kid you not -- this was the greeting I got when walking in the door.)
Me: I'm good. I already got one.
EB Manager: You did? Where'd you get it?
Me: Here. I pre-ordered for launch. Actually, I was able to get four of them.
EB Manager: (Conspiratorially) eBay?
Me: No. I had my wife pre-order one at another store. And I got another couple from a friend.
EB Manager: Did you eBay those?
Me: No. I kept one for myself and a friend of mine got the other one. And I sold one at cost to the 1UP network for their holiday giveaway, and the other to the Evil Avatar online community for their holiday giveaway.
EB Manager: Where?
Me: Have you heard of 1UP.com? It's a big gaming news website... And Evil Avatar is a pretty established gaming community site.
EB Manger: Nope.
Me: (Walking up to the counter to look at their new inventory.) That's cool.
EB Lackey: Can I help you find anything?
Me: Yeah. I'm looking for Hotel Dusk. It's a DS title.
EB Lackey: (Blank stare -- doesn't even check the shelf.) What?
EB Manager: Never heard of it. What was it called, again?
Me: Hotel Dusk. It's a point-and-click adventure for the DS. It should have come out yesterday. But I wouldn't be surprised if you're sold out.
EB Manager: (Gives me a funny look.) Are you sure that's what it's called?
(I spot some empty display packages of Hotel Dusk sitting on a shelf right below the front counter)
Me: (Picking up a preview package and holding it up to the manager) Pretty sure.
EB Manager: (Now displeased with me -- doesn't even bother to turn around and check the shelves) No. We don't.
Me: Can you check your inventory?
EB Manager: (turns head to monitor without typing anything on the keyboard) No. We don't.
Me: Okayyy... Thanks. I'm gonna look around a little bit.
(EB employees ignore me. I wander over to the used games section. Meanwhile, another customer walks in.)
EB Manager: Welcome to EB. I can help you with anything you want, except getting a Wii. We don't have any so don't even bother asking.
Customer: Can you tell me when you're getting more?
EB Manager: I don't know. Can I help you find anything else?
Customer: When does Halo 3 come out?
EB Manager: This summer, I think. But if you pre-order Crackdown, you get a Halo 3 demo with it.
Me: (Turning to customer.) You don't actually get a demo. You can get a chance to enter the Halo 3 multi-player beta test. Still, there's no guarantee you'll get on the beta list. You just get an invitation to register.
EB Manager: You sure? The box says that it comes with a Halo 3 demo.
Me: I'm pretty sure.
EB Manager: (Checks the display box.) Yeah, you're right.
Customer: (Addressing the question to me.) Can you play that on Xbox?
Me: Halo 3 is only for the 360. Do you own a 360?
Customer: No. I got Xbox 1.
EB Manager: You should pick up a 360. Especially if you like Halo. It's backwards compatible, so you can play all of your Xbox games on it.
Me: Uh, not all of them. But it'll definitely play Halo and Halo 2.
Customer: You got any 360s?
EB Manager: Yes. We have the Core Version, which doesn't come with a hard drive and the deluxe version. I'd recommend you go with the deluxe one. You can download hi-def TV shows and movies on it.
Customer: Does it come with BluRay?
EB Manager: You can play HD-DVD on it.
Me: Um, to do that, you have to buy a separate player that plugs into the 360. The stock console will play standard def DVDs, but not HD. Though, like he said, you can download HD programming.
Customer: (Addressing me again.) How much is that?
Me: I think the HD-DVD add-on runs a couple hundred bucks.
Customer: What's the difference between the Core and the deluxe?
Me: Well, essentially he's right. The Core Version costs $299. It doesn't come with a hard drive. For another hundred bucks, you can get the Standard Edition which includes a wireless controller, an Xbox Live headset, an ethernet cable, and a component video cable. Along with the 20GB hard drive. You can buy all of