lula.jpg Eurogamer's own Ellie Gibson provides one of the few mainstream reviews of German publisher CDV's decidedly seedy PC 'adventure' game Lula 3D. And, though the game is meant for "12 year old boys" worldwide, Gibson does a good job of explaining why it "looks and plays like it was developed by a 12 year old boy, on a 12 year old PC, at least 12 years ago."

For starters, a rundown of the franchise's awesome power is worth perusing: "Lula, for those who aren't familiar, first made her appearance back in 1998 in a game called Lula: The Sexy Empire. A sequel, brilliantly titled Wet Attack: The Empire Cums Back, was released a year later and a variety of spin-offs followed, including Lula Flipper (a pinball game that's nothing to do with dolphin sex, disappointingly)."

But overall, Gibson concludes: "The game's presentation is terrible, from the hideous music to the stupid cut-scenes to the way that Lula somehow manages to store every item she picks up - keys, beer bottles, porn mags, you name it - in her already rather full bra. The voice acting is worse than you'll have seen in most porn films, if you like that sort of thing, and the poorly translated dialogue just makes matters worse... Avoid like the clap." Will do!