[This week's Beyond 3DO column is a look into the modern 32-bit homebrew mines. Not the swanky, well lit Sega and Sony mines, resplendent with running hot can cold water and matching water feature. Oh no - these are the dank, dark, dismal mines of the Atari Jaguar and the 3DO Multiplayer, where the Motorola and Arm dwarves mine - perhaps too deep?]

“He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.” – Douglas Adams.

I often wonder - do the likes of Trip Hawkins or Sam Tramiel put the name of their long forgotten consoles into Google from time-to-time, just to see? Do they grimace or grin? Do they care? Do they suffer the same pangs of nostalgia – the memories – the same love that we do?

The 3DO multiplayer and the Atari Jaguar have been dead twice as long as they were alive – yet a handful of e-Necromancers keep the spirits of these long since gone consoles alive. In the dark places on the web, past the Xbox 360 groups, beneath the PS3 and the Wii - the fans of early 32bit generation hardware keep these machines alive.

[After a break - he apparently nearly 32-bit gamed himself to death, having played and completed over 60 3DO titles in 2006, 3DO Kid is back. He's updating his blog. He's written a new entry for his GameSetWatch column, and all is well with the world - except, of course, the Angels of 32bit retro gaming that talk to him, and disturbingly, only him, through the medium of his 3DO controller... racing games this time, apparently!]

It is good to be back.

“What? What was that you said? Back to the 3DO games cupboard to pluck another game to duel in the endless war between 3DO Multiplayer and Atari Jaguar? Oh, OK! Back to the cupboard.”

[3DO Kid stuffs hand inside ‘3DO games’ cupboard, followed by the sounds of rummaging]

“Megarace? No, sorry, the Atari Jaguar doesn’t have any streamed from CD racing games – lucky for it.”

[Rummage. Rummage.]

“Autobahn Tokio? Nope. It doesn’t have any arcade street racers either.”

[Rummage, rummage.]

“Crash ‘n Burn. What the!? Angels? ANGELS!!? Oh-there you are. What’s with the racing games? The 3DO and Jaguar had different types of racing games - they can't be compared!”

[Short eerie silence as the voices were communed with.]

“Oh – OK, I get it. Racing games for Round 2 then. The Atari Jaguar's best racing game versus 3DO's best racing game. Easy - when it's explained.”

[Having gained a mid-week day pass from his 3DO-specific blog, 3DO Kid peers up from his sordid quagmire and passes judgement on games no sane man would consider. Free now to explore beyond Hawkins' dream machine, he drones incomprehensibly on... now proving, beyond reasonable doubt, that free thinking should require a license.]

The privilege of being handed a column on GameSetWatch has not escaped me. I mean to say, the scale of opportunity has not missed my attention. What, I had been wondering until very recently, am I to do with it, though? It would be a shame to waste it.

After pondering this question for weeks, I have finally come up with an idea. Like a bolt from the blue, I, 3DO Kid, 3DO fanboy extraordinaire, have had an epiphany.

The answer to the question now seems obvious: What should the worlds biggest, only and probably last 3DO fanboy do? Of cause. Settle the big one. The final fight. The old grudge. Yes - you have guessed it. I will answer the question most people thought unanswerable.

Which is better? 3DO Multiplayer or Atari Jaguar?

…I can tell without looking you are not as excited as I am about this.

[Having gained a mid-week day pass from his 3DO-specific blog, 3DO Kid peers down from his lofty tower and tries to convince you to buy games no sane man would conside. Fee now to explore beyond Hawkins' dream machine, he rambles incomprehensibly on... His first 'Beyond 3DO' column discusses why the dreaded 'FMV adventure' is much more pleasant that you might actually guess.]

What you find when you delve in to the sinister depths of the just-post-SNES, pre-PSX era - the 3DO, the CDi and the CD32, is that in many ways these machines were a Frankenstein’s Laboratory of game development. The results? Well amongst the ports, the Interactive Movies, the half-baked upgrades of the 16bit library and, of cause, the handful of actually decent titles, there is an oddity of a genre that has [crack of thunder] …no name!

I call them “Pre-rendered tat”. And they aren’t any good …to play… but as eye candy, perhaps worth a second glance if and only if, you happen to be a nostalgic graphics whore like me.

[Click through for more.]