September 30, 2011 5:00 AM | Danny Cowan
Sweet, a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game is out for the iPhone and iPod Touch! Let's just head on over to the App Store and whoa whoa whoa wait what's going on here
Okay, so what you see above is Ninja Turtles, a...Cabal/NAM-1975-styled shooter (I suppose) that borrows its background from Contra for the NES. And is that explosion in the lower-left corner lifted from Metal Slug? Sure, why not.
While I can appreciate the unique approach in combining programmer-drawn character art with elements lifted -- almost certainly without permission -- from a variety of retro sources...what's the Ninja Turtles connection? Perhaps we'll never know. And for $4.99, I'm not curious enough to find out.
"This game makes no sense," a one-star App Store review notes. "I bought this game for my grandson, he loves the TMNT!! This game has no directions we can't figure out how to play, or even how to restart the game. There aren't any turtles in the game. A total waste of $5"
Amazingly, the game was approved for sale by Apple on August 18th, and has survived in the App Store for more than a month without anyone noticing or caring. That's probably about to change soon; while Ninja Turtles may no longer be available for purchase by the time you read this, the only thing you're missing out on is the description: "let's fight the enemy ninja turtles."