[Forgive me for this opinion piece -- I try not to talk about video games at length unless they were originally made for the Sega CD -- but this week's events were just too, well, innovative for me to remain silent.]

E3 hasn't even started, and already the world has been rocked to its mantle by an hour-long barrage of announcements from Japanese games publisher Konami. Konami spent at least half of the presentation talking up its new "Transfarring" technology, which promises to change video gaming forever and make the world a better, cleaner, safer place.

First discovered at Konami's Tokyo laboratories by Dr. Hideo Kojima, the "Transfarring" DNA inherent in all Konami games was isolated and extracted by top scientists earlier this year. Segments that were destroyed during the extraction were replaced with mosquito DNA strands, allowing the Transfarring gene to infiltrate Konami's in-progress game projects and imbue them with special Transfarring superpowers.

Among the creations infected by the rogue Transfarring agent were ambitious new developments like a compilation of two of the three good Silent Hill games, a compilation of three of the four good Metal Gear Solid games, and a compilation of two of the one good Zone of the Enders games. Fortunately, Konami's greatest creative minds were vacationing on their fifth year of a planned 30-year sabbatical, and no new intellectual properties were harmed or extant during Transfarring's sentient takeover.

So all of this is, of course, amazing. But what does Transfarring do? In layman's terms, it allows users to maximize cutting-edge technology by linking saved data in games from previous hardware generations. It sounds risky and complicated, but the process couldn't be simpler.

Say, for example, that you want to transfer -- excuse me, transfarr -- a saved game of Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker from your PS3 to a PSP and continue your game on the go. First, locate your PSP. It may be a difficult search -- try looking under the bed, or contact the person you sold it to on eBay in 2007.

Now slide your PSP's power switch. You'll notice that nothing happens. The PSP's advanced vampire technology drains its battery even while powered off, so you'll need to find your AC adapter and plug it into a wall outlet.

Do so, and then turn the power on. Connect to the internet, and download a firmware update. It doesn't matter if you updated recently -- there will be another new update available. Make sure you wait 30 minutes for the PSP to charge up to half-capacity power for the update, then download and install it. Play another game on a different system while waiting on the install, and then turn your PSP off after it's completed, because at this point, you don't feel like playing Peace Walker anymore. Resume the process a month later when you remember that the PSP exists, repeating any prior steps as necessary.


(Image courtesy Chris Kohler, Christian Nutt, Nokia)

From here, Transfarring your saved game is an easy 10-second process. Simply start up your PS3, sync your controller, log in to your user account, insert the Metal Gear Solid HD Collection disc, boot the disc, install any mandatory updates, load your saved data, navigate to the Transfarring menu, plug in your USB charging cable (What, did you think that this could be done wirelessly? These are 1078-kilobyte files we're talking about here!), connect the cable to the PSP, turn on the PSP, activate USB mode, install the data, deactivate USB mode, start up your second copy of Peace Walker on the PSP, navigate to the Transfarring menu, and load your data.

Congratulations! Even though you're now an hour late for work, you're ready to resume your progress in a year-old game that you purchased twice and already finished many months ago. The future is here, and it rules like hell.