['Bell, Game, and Candle' is a regular new GameSetWatch column by game commentator Alex Litel, discussing stuff that happens in the game business.]

I, self-described all-around interactive aficionado Alex Litel, am here to deliver a definitive debriefing on the “hot stuff” to look forward to at this week’s E3 Media & Business Summit that will occur at the Los Angeles Convention Center in Downtown Los Angeles. You may not have heard of some of these games before. Well, now you have.

The Panic in Needle Park Game: A few months ago, I copped some hazel named The Panic of Needle Park from my balloon Netflix. I must admit that I only cooked sixty-three percent of the hazel, but I assume Bob and Helen kick their habits and open a detective agency or bakery. If this is the case, Epicenter Studios is bringing us Sam & Max with humans in place of the dog and rabbit or Cooking Mama sans kitsch. In the improbable instance I am incorrect, I imagine this is a cross between the 2005 version of Narc and that one mission in Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 4 where you collect pink elephants.

Sam Mendes’ Yellow Lasers: Nintendo heard the monotonous shrills of gamers all over the globe demanding more mature titles for the Wii and DS and took action by beaming a bunch of money (via Bluetooth) to Sam Mendes in exchange for his help in crafting what the fact sheet describes as “the most mature work to ever grace the medium.” The game, developed by Retro Studios, “captures the sincere and unadulterated thematic language that has put Sam Mendes at the forefront of British people creating media about America.” The trailer I am not supposed to be telling you about is wicked confusing: a cheerleader in clown makeup engages in racketeering solely because she is bored. Also, according to an insider source, the game involves lasers that are yellow. And by insider source, I mean the title.

LEGO Dog Day Afternoon: Finally, Warner Bros. purchase of Traveller’s Tales appears justified with this unique take on one of the studio’s most famous and acclaimed pictures. The unique charm of TT’s past LEGO adventures has been retained, but the game’s action is primarily “non-verbal communicative gameplay” more along the lines of a mute, cute Façade than block-busting. Seeking to the maximize the value of LEGO Dog Day Afternoon, the game will depart from the film by depicting the robbery in real time in the frame of fourteen hours as actual event occurred and featuring “more than four hundred endings.”

A&R: BioWare Austin’s highly anticipated massively multiplayer game takes place not in the dungeons or far off planets of some established intellectual property, but an industrial netherworld in pragmatic, allegedly irreversible crisis. You obviously assume the role as one in the earthly field of Artists and Repertoire in a dynamic mirror of the real life music industry. Will you go with an indie or major? Will your heart be in it? Will you sink to avaricious depths? Will I stop asking rhetorical questions? It is up to you.

You’ve Got Mail Basketball II: Rebounds Deleted: When Gameloft put out You’ve Got Mail Basketball last year, they brought absolute joy to the three people who wished Nora Ephron would somehow involve herself with basketball. This is obviously the sequel to that game, but the real noteworthy quality about You’ve Got Mail Basketball II: Rebounds Deleted is that the man at the forefront of Anglo nasality—Ira Glass himself—provides color commentary. Yeah, I too had the same “like, wow, this auditory combination is really going to be awkward in a way that is, you know, unprecedented in this medium” response as when I read that The Coup were doing the theme song to MX Superfly. Then, I heard some Ira’s commentary and realized he is simply reading lines written by Nora Ephron.

Madden NFL 2009: A lot of people were puzzled when Electronic Arts announced that they were eschewing the football in favor of "an interactive experience" based on an unfinished and unpublished science fiction novel by Sinclair Lewis for Madden NFL 2008. Then a number of those people played Madden NFL 2008 multiple times, and had little clue on what was happening in the eighty-seven hours or so they spent playing the game, but it was indulgently phantasmagoric. The finale of the game with Milt’s three-hour speech was ethereally didactic, albeit incomplete, and closed with the unforgettable "I snort periphery and I reject superlatives from." I'm happy to report that this year's iteration explains who Milt rejects superlatives from and that acclaimed composer Steve Schnur—whose cacophonous, rough score was primarily why last year’s title was remembered so fondly in the ears of gamers—returns to soundtrack this time around.

In addition to these future masterpieces, there is also the crop of titles announced at E3 that are certain to be “innovative and creative” with the ability to “not just thrill the ‘casual’ and ‘hardcore,’ but attract new demographics to gaming.”

[Alex Litel can be reached at [email protected] and occasionally found at alexlitel.blogspot.com.]