Rock Band: The Best Of The Best... Band Names?
December 4, 2007 7:30 AM | Simon Carless
So, Harmonix's Rock Band is, it's true, a bit of a blast. Only a few minutes ago me and my wife were playing it and I was happily inciting her to give it more cowbell during my 'Don't Fear The Reaper' guitar solo (not a euphemism).
But what's almost as fun as playing is going through the user-created band names on the top Rock Band leaderboards, and examining them for irony, humor, and mock gravitas. After all, what you call your group is almost more important than how well you play, huh?
So, after scanning the Top 1000 on the online leaderboards, here are some band name categories I've come up with:
- The Pop Culture Reference: For when you'd like a selection of your audience to grin knowingly, and the rest to sit there looking oblivious, you poseur. Rock Band Top 1000 leaderboard examples include The Potent Potables and The New Originals - with a special award to Larry David And The Hipsters. [EDIT: Ah yes, and a fine tweaked-up consumer culture reference I forgot, though it's not in the Top 1000: Blood, Bath And Beyond.]
- The Totally Surreal: For when you want to be so darn cool that you're practically unintelligible - could be a pop culture reference too, but _nobody_ gets it, and that's totally cool, right? Rock Band Top 1000 leaderboard examples include One Million Doll Hairs and Unicorn Being Stabbed By Stuff.
- Mock-Serious Names: Somewhere in the grand lineage of Dethklok, these names work on some levels, but rule on various others. In the Rock Band Top 1000 leaderboard, a lot of these use umlauts, so I couldn't quite work out how to replicate them in HTML form. Two that don't, but rock even more because of it, are Perpetual Halloween and the immortal Wu's Dragon Wang.
- Wholly Descriptive Names: Finally, what if you don't want to tell people something, not name a cool band? In the Rock Band Top 1000, there's at least one great candidate for this - the purely monikered We Broke The Drums.
As for our band name, we started out with The Rollos, naturally named after our dachshund, but unfortunately the founding member of The Rollos left to go study for his MCAT or something (thanks a bunch, Raj, this is how bands break up!) So we started again with the Gallagher-baiting Rolloasis. All together now... 'You've got to Rollo with it, you've got to take your time...'
So, go on... what's your Rock Band band name, and why? Is yours named after your high school teacher, your high school band, or more likely, an obscure Happy Days episode, you big GameSetWatch-reading nerd? The world awaits your proclamation.
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28 Comments
All day at work I sat and thought about band names, knowing that at 5 I was going to run and pick up my copy.
I wanted something that screamed old school rock 'n roll, something that took itself a little too seriously. And what I came up with was "Whiskey Dick". I thought it was perfect, but I Googled "Whiskey Dick Band" and I found out that they're evidently a real band. I was bummed, but went on with it. Then when I got home and Rock Band told me my name wasn't "classy" I died inside.
Super lame.
tratch | December 4, 2007 7:07 AM
The Z Fighters
Game developer nerd reference + parody of existing band.
Rich Wilson | December 4, 2007 7:26 AM
Puma Maintenance. I'll leave it to a future Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction interview to explain why.
Zack | December 4, 2007 7:50 AM
"Coqaine Warloq" - because it's just such a rock 'n roll name.
alt band names we've got:
"whiskey nipple" (not classy)
"rogaine panic" (all bald goth band)
"backdoor shootout" (emo band)
bill baker | December 4, 2007 8:37 AM
Don't have Rock Band because EA hates Canada (grr), but my Guitar Hero band has been a constant: "Repetitive Stress".
It sums up the time I spent with the game nicely and, as a benefit, sounds metal m/
My sister had "Jarvis Junkies", in reference to the shady neighbourhood she was in. When we started a co-op band in GH3 we formed the supergroup: "Repetitive Junkies"
nowak | December 4, 2007 8:52 AM
I gotta say that most of these are pretty terrible band names but what the hell do I know, I was in a band called "Inbred Whiteboy" for many years.
I most often play with my friend's group "Stink Meat", but when given the chance to create my own, I found that the first suggestion the game gave me was perfect:
"Donkey Disaster"
packratshow | December 4, 2007 9:13 AM
We're running two bands thanks to the stupid requirement that whoever starts the band has to be present at each session. Therefore, Nick the Stick (drummer) leads The Libertarian Misfits and Kerry (guitarist) leads wookie.
Given my unwillingness to play drums for more than 3 songs on Hard, wookie became the band to achieve Hall of Fame status. Weekend after this we play on going after the Endless Set List on Expert. Needless to say we'll work in shifts.
Dave | December 4, 2007 9:32 AM
"Dookie Proof"
I have no good reason other than it made me laugh.
theJoe | December 4, 2007 9:58 AM
My Guitar Hero band has always been "Danger Tuxedo" and will be my Rock Band name when the game finally comes out on PS2.
Matt | December 4, 2007 10:52 AM
I suspect that when I have the funds for Rock Band, I will resurrect my Guitar Hero band name: Miserable Robot Head (http://www.sporktania.com/banners/index.php?b=512).
Tablesaw | December 4, 2007 12:06 PM
Me and my board game buddies play as "The Meeples." I started a band with the wife called S.L.U.D. -- which is a mnemonic tool used by doctors for lots of gross stuff.
Gus | December 4, 2007 12:17 PM
Mine is called Sex Bob-Omb, after Scott Pilgrim.
Nich | December 4, 2007 12:27 PM
We're The Flaming Cvnts (since cunts is not considered "classy")
jared | December 4, 2007 2:17 PM
Zombie Attic Pimps! Not only is it awesome, but the initials spell out ZAP!
That's totally awesome, right there.
Other good titles:
Diabolo
Blank and the Blank Experience
The
This Space For Rent
Pixel Four
Eight Dash-Dash Crusendo
Bearsuits
ZAP | December 4, 2007 2:55 PM
I had to go with "Harmonix Killed The Video Star".
mister slim | December 4, 2007 10:54 PM
Katamari Deathsquad. That has been my band name throughout the Guitar Hero series. I like the contrast of cartoony cuteness and deadly intention.
Kevin | December 5, 2007 12:39 PM
we have three:
Flat Top Tony & the Purple Canoes
Satans Jockstrap
and my girls fave Balls Deep
andy | December 6, 2007 7:51 AM
Haahahahaa!
My band is Larry David & the Hipsters. What's my special award?
Mark | December 11, 2007 2:09 PM
i have three different bands
the Openly Gay Zebras
Jack Rabbit Shuffle
and
the Wet Muffins
all are for comedic purposes
steve doc | January 1, 2008 12:39 PM
Burford and the Thibodauxes
Mark | February 5, 2008 8:00 AM
our band is called O.B. City
speendar | February 19, 2008 3:17 PM
Glove Full Of Vaseline
brady | February 21, 2008 12:34 PM
Fire Hatt
Named after a shark fishing team composed of a 50-something couple my bro and I saw on Discovery Channel.
brandon | March 2, 2008 12:33 AM
The Taint Thumping Extravaganza!
#145 on fan list
Brett | March 20, 2008 7:59 AM
My band is Mercy Flush...got it from an episode of Scrubs
Jim | June 9, 2008 10:59 AM
I agree the whole "not classy" thing is bizarre. I have a singer "Analeise Talon" (not classy apparently) and a band called "The Eastside Whores" which apparently IS classy enough to show online. What is the deal?!?!
Susan | June 15, 2008 10:21 AM
KICKING SHADOWS
compton | June 23, 2008 1:46 PM
I'm making a band up of '70s cop show/movie cliches called 'Dutch Holland and the Loose Cannons'.
Vocals: Dutch Holland, renegade super cop.
Lead Guitar: Stupid Chief, the often-yelling police chief who calls Dutch into his office to yell at him for destruction of property and what-not.
Bass Guitar: Afro Pimp, the street-wise pimp who regularly gives information to Dutch... for a price.
Drums: Doomed Rookie, the fresh-out-of-the-academy stickler for the rules who might not make it to the next episode/reel.
Johnny C | June 24, 2008 11:26 AM