November 19, 2007 10:00 AM |
[Since GSW boss Simon Carless is away guest-editing Kotaku this week, only popping in occasionally to collect the milk, GameSetWatch has its own special guest blogger.... legendary Accordion Hero creator Karsden Mörderhäschen from Schadenfreude Interactive. And you're in for a treat.]
Furcht nicht -- I, Karsden Mörderhäschen, CEO of Schadenfreude Interactive GmbH, shall be watching over you! Not in a creepy, obsessive Alan Moore’s Rorschach way, but more of a charmingly naïve and brutal Sergio Aragonés’ Groo way.
Simon Careless has kindly asked me to guest-edit while he spends the week with the clever hot-pink-and-chartreuse set over at Kotaku.
Of course I have been asked to guest-edit not because of my fine English or my intimate connections with the game industry (we are rather isolated here in the Black Forest region), but because we Germans do not traditionally celebrate Thanksgiving. We will be here at the work all week while you, our American friends, eat pie, watch parades and dare each other to drink turkey-and-mashed-potato flavored soda without vomiting (oh, look, this year there is Ham soda -- truly America is a Wunderland).
We also do not traditionally hide a glass pickle on our Christmas trees. I do not know where you Americans got that idea from. If anyone would be hiding vegetables in shrubbery, it would be the Belgians.
I will, however, authenticate the existence of the traditional Gold Sh*tter. In fact, our lead programmer had one that was made to look like Richard Garriott, little fringed boots and all. It sat on his desk for many years, until it was eaten by Ziggy, our office goat (I was at first blamed, but all know I do not care for marzipan and also Ziggy afterwards smelled of almonds pleasantly, which I can say is not usual). I am not superstitious by any means, but perhaps this explains the slightly underwhelming performance of Tabula Rasa.
How we miss our little marzipan Lord British...perhaps I will have Ulrike, our VP of Sales, write a column demonstrating to us all how to make such a thing. She is very talented. She once made our CTO a birthday cake with Lara Croft on it that was rather well-received, especially the placement of the chocolate oranges.
Speaking of cake, the traditional Black Forest cake does exist, and it is delicious and moist.
Even though it is no holiday, it is a slow week here at Schadenfreude Interactive, as our artist is on vacation and the rest of us can do no better than programmer art. Ah, I can remember the days when all art was programmer art! Perhaps I will tell more to you about those early days later this week.
Unlike Kotaku readers, who are callow youth interested in only the Super Mario Galaxy and statues of anime women with removable pants, I know that GameSetWatch readers like nothing better than to hear old people talk about vector games, assembly language, how much a loaf of bread cost in 1977 and how much better Woody Allen films were then.
Although mine may indeed be the shortest reign since Lady Jane Grey or Alex Handy, I hope that it is mostly enjoyed by you. This week will be full of surprises, like an advent calendar hiding colorful but perhaps disappointingly waxy chocolates behind each tiny door.
I guarantee there will be no glass pickles.
Categories: Column: Schadenfreudian Slips