x.jpg We get our fair share of 'interesting' people calling in to the Gamasutra/Game Developer offices, mainly because we have our phone numbers listed in public. And the latest of these would be the inventor who's started GameKeyboard.com, and is looking to license his patented (or patent pending, not quite sure) use of directional keys to: "Play any PC Video Game or Control any Object in 3 Dimensions using only 4 keys on the Game Keyboard."

You may be a greater man than I if you fully understand how this differs from the controls used in normal games, so let's extract a random part of his rather text-worthy (Brandon says it looks like today's Penny Arcade cartoon) explanation: "Activating the cursor up [▲] key followed by the cursor down [▼] key accelerates forward, followed by the cursor left [◄] key accelerates forward and leftward, and deactivating the cursor left [◄] key continues forward acceleration."

And here's one of his earlier patents, for those interested in having their brains warped a little bit more. It's for, uhm: "Multiple methods of using only two sensors to control the state of an object in a one dimensional environment, a two dimensional environment or a three dimensional environment. A method of using only two sensors to control the state of an object in a secondary mode and edit data in a third mode. A method of using only two sensors to edit changes. A method of using only two sensors to control the state of an object in graphic arts programs. A method of using only two sensors to control the state of an object in two states, three states, four states, eight states, ten states or fourteen states. A method of using only two sensors to increase or decrease control of an object." C'mon, someone, tell me what this all means!