Another of those cleverly themed 1UP features that I appreciate went up last week, and it's called 'Dudes In Distress', and deals with - well, lemme excerpt the rather wonderfully florid intro to give you an idea:

"With a zest of victimization, a few teaspoons of imminent homicide, and a bottle of aged bondage, you can bake a delicious cake of distress. From the bare Andromeda to the bored Mary Jane, womankind has supplied the majority of tales of helpless persecution. And from the days since the scantly clad Princess Daphne pranced into arcade halls, videogames have been enjoying their quota of damsels in distress."

So? "The response's been to create heroines of equal stature to their male counterparts, androgynous body armor included. However, searching the other side of the submissive coin unveils quite a collection of memorable men in misery, from the icons to the fleeting sacrificial lambs."

Add a ridiculous picture of Snake in a fairy castle and some descriptions of Haggar's almost Tom Of Finland-like predicaments, and you get to a feature I genuinely enjoyed, actually - and I hope you do, too. (Writer Charles Hartley is Tim Rogers' newscaster, too. Odd!)