bwn.jpg Our dear friends at Schadenfreude Interactive, last seen discussing game designs featuring renegade beekeepers with amnesia, have returned to sister site Gamasutra with a brand new column, 'Waiting For Hasselhoff'.

The feature "chronicles audio engineer Alex Voll mit Aalen's Beckettian odyssey, waiting for David Hasselhoff to arrive and craft voiceover for the firm's award-winning Cthulhu Karts series", and the lines he must speak are rather astounding: "A borean terror gnaws at my vitals as, before me, a many-tentacled creature waves its dire glaucous flag. Am I courting madness with this karting madness?"

We won't give away the ending, but suffice to say, the path of the Hoff does not run smooth, and Voll mit Aalen is obstructed, among other things, by German death metal band Moribund Impetus, who, he relates. "leave the studio a mess. Someone has left a pair of leather chaps behind an amplifier. I sigh and place them in the Lost & Found cabinet beside the Ottorino Respighi-shaped Pez dispenser, a deflated inflatable pig, and a cucumber wrapped in aluminum foil. This job is not as glamorous as I expected it to be -- some days I just feel like a janitor with a copy of ProTools." Working in games isn't as fun as we thought!