Words cannot express how much we adore Schadenfreude Interactive, the perky German creators of Accordion Hero, and their new 'Schadenfreudian Slips' column for sister site Gamasutra deals with the vital issue of pitching your video game to a publisher.

Among the surprisingly useful tips are 'Present your design, and yourself, in a professional manner' ("I can reasonably assure you that Sid Meier does not smell like a barrel of unwashed socks - please do not tell me if this is otherwise, as it would crush all of my dreams"), as well as 'Think it all the way through' ("Amateur game designers do not risk quite as much bodily harm as amateur parachute designers, but both can be expected to produce horribly messy flops.")

But most importantly, the German wunderkinds note that you should 'Have an original idea', ruminating: "Shakespeare said “there is nothing new under the sun”. Mein Gott, I am so very, very tired of that quote. But it is true...I cannot tell you how many times we have heard these very same pitches: ...it's like The Oregon Trail, but with zombies ...it's like Ninja Gaiden, but with pirates ...it's like Pirates!, but with ninjas ...it's like Chubby Gristle for the Amiga, but with zombies, pirates, and ninjas." Hey, us too!