Game Ads A-Go-Go: The Dirty Mind of a Gamer

['Game Ads A-Go-Go' is a bi-weekly column by Vintage Computing and Gaming's RedWolf that showcases good, bad, strange, funny, and interesting classic video game-related advertisements, most of which are taken from his massive classic game magazine collection.]

Your favorite wannabe snarky ad commentator is back, except this time without the snarky comments. "What?!" you say, "RedWolf, have you gone completely insane?" The short answer to that question is, "yes," but I'll explain.

Everybody knows that going way out of your way to turn an ordinary situation into some form of sexual innuendo is absolutely hilarious. There are people out there in the world whose sole method of communication is through sexual innuendo. We've done it to ourselves culturally by refusing to address sex directly, so all of a sudden anything could be a code word for a sexual act. This week I'll be taking a look at ads that are oozing with sexual potential. All that's left is to fill in your own commentary using your own dirty mind. Nothing I could write could be more entertaining than that. So let's quit jerking around and do it already.

Just Beat It

This is only one half of a two-page "World Blockbuster Game Championships" ad. But it's enough.

Jingle Ballz

This one has some intentional non-sexual innuendo, and yet it works so well for our topic.

He's on a Joy Ride Too

I'm not even touching this one.

If You Like it Hard and Fast

Ouch.

[RedWolf is the founder and Editor-in-Chief of Vintage Computing and Gaming, a regularly updated "blogazine" that covers collecting, playing, and hacking vintage computing and gaming devices. He has been collecting vintage computers and game systems for over 13 years.]