March 23, 2006 2:50 PM |
['Game Ads A-Go-Go' is a weekly column by Vintage Computing and Gaming's RedWolf that showcases good, bad, strange, funny, and interesting classic video game-related advertisements, most of which are taken from his massive vintage game magazine collection.]
Welcome back! This week I present to you the official GameSetWatch guide to guys freakin' out. The commentary this time should be thinner than usual, as I'm currently studying hard for my Official Snarky Commentator Certification (OSCC) exam (officiated by Seanbaby of EGM). That, and I just got a new cat that insists on eating my magazines. But have no fear; the guys freakin' out should mostly speak (or scream) for themselves. And at least you have the pretty pictures to look at.
Konami Hates You
This particular guy is obviously just now returning to Earth after a long stint of freakin' out in deep space, but he ran into trouble on the way down. I would be freakin' out too if I were shot down viciously by Konami and in the process of burning up on re-entry to the Konami Homeworld (natch). As if I really wanted to invade their dumb giant video-planet anyway. Flames and smoke aside, the human-sized Konami game boxes alone are enough to drive a man insane with a stray glance (especially the "A...JAX!" logo).
The primary message of this ad is clear: "Don't #%@& with Konami, or we'll kill you."
This deal is just absolutely insane. There's nothing more to say -- I'm speechless.
Our Free Cleaning Kit WILL MAKE YOU FREAK OUT
This ad is actually a two-page ad, but the other page is nearly useless, aside from the fact that it conveniently explains the terrible illustrated visual pun on the left side of the page. The heading reads "Summer Screamers." I agree wholeheartedly; SNES Street Fighter II Turbo for $79.99 is definitely cause for some serious freakin' out. Ha! And they say PlayStation 3 games will be expensive. Try time-travelling back to 1995 and buying SFII Turbo, you pansies! Adjusted for today's inflation rates, that price comes out to actually being somewhere around $1307.50.
Bonus Guys Freakin' Out
It's so easy to make fun of people and status-quo-breaking behavior when you have the benefit of time, distance, and the absolute destruction of context -- so it's not really fair. Therefore, I will just let you look at these pictures and think about exactly what humanity means to you.
[RedWolf is the founder and Editor-in-Chief of Vintage Computing and Gaming, a regularly updated "blogazine" that covers collecting, playing, and hacking vintage computing and gaming devices. He has been collecting vintage computers and game systems for over 12 years. Check out the new VC&G Forum!]
Categories: Column: Game Ads A-Go-Go